My five would include:
1. Be patient with yourself and others as we all face stress, confusion and learning awkwardness.
2. Be awake and alert to what realities another person actually expresses about their abilities and desires to be good friends. Don’t wish or hope or ask them to change. Be in reality and match expectations and connection levels to those realities.
3. Your needs matter and so do the other person’s needs so navigating the differing needs with reality and with the rules of kindness, cooperation, generosity and receptivity with appreciation will help both of you navigate the differences.
4. Understand that all people have their own personality qualities that impact their communication styles, expectations, ways of expressing and receiving love, need for social and private time, and different types and degrees of anxieties and insecurities. Don’t assume they understand you and don’t assume you understand them. Communicate clearly and listen carefully.
5. All people, including you, have limits and strengths. Encourage comfortable expressions of such so that no one takes anything personally or negatively with undue disappointment or anger. On the other hand, you will likely choose to be very close to those that are more similar to you in the ways that impact 1-5 and less close to those starkly different. Nonetheless, be aware of those who fake it, con others, become self-consumed only, or think unkindness is okay.