When we are recovering, it can be confusing to know what is true love or what is addiction to a hope-for-love or anticipation of a love that is manipulated by “love-bombing” or “gaslighting.” Things are different when we are able to love a healthy person, in a healthy way. So, although it might be confusing now, it is important to know that genuine love (directed toward a sincerely good person) can still ache when they are absent, and that such heart pang lets you know that you can love in their absence too. Such aches are not addictions nor longings for love from a unkind person if the person we love respects us.