Conflict and Disharmony in Healthy and Abusive Relationships

with Dr. Carol Francis

Dr. Carol Francis describes the various reasons or causes for conflicts and disharmony in relationships that are related to merely being out of sync with each other. Sometimes people are merely in different places, one’s happy, one is sad or one is overworked and another is energetic, for example. Often arguments or conflict or disconnected disharmony will occur and might lead to something more complicated than merely being out-of-step with each other. Dr. Carol Francis reviews some of these reasons. She also wishes to distinguish disharmony of healthy relationships and disharmony that is associated with abusiveness or abuse. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse or psychological abuse or emotional abuse causes disharmony that is very different. Even the harmony in an abuse relationships is different. Associated to Dr. Carol Francis’ campaign and program “Paths to Recovery After Abuse and Trauma” she recognizes that new relationships that people begin after they have escaped from abusive relationships are often troubling to the once abused individual. Why? Discord, disagreement, yelling, frustration can be normal but for an abused individual it can feel like a fearful trigger or an anticipation that abuse will follow the normal disharmony. Sometimes one will hide, retreat or become defensive or even overly-defensive. As a consequence, it is important as you are recovering from a previously abusive situation and entering into a new relationship to have some guidance as to what is normal discord and how to handle it without fear you are in an abusive situation once again. Most importantly, ALWAYS treat yourself and your partner with respect, especially in the middle of disharmony.

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